Dear Prof,
My name is Jorine Ng, and the purpose of this letter is to introduce myself. I am a Year 1 student attending your effective communication module. I graduated from Temasek Polytechnic with a diploma in facility management, along with a certificate in psychology. For the longest time, I wanted to work in the built environment industry. I believed that saving energy was not always about peoples' efforts, but how the building is built as well. I eventually decided to further my studies in the Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering (building services) program in SIT.
My name is Jorine Ng, and the purpose of this letter is to introduce myself. I am a Year 1 student attending your effective communication module. I graduated from Temasek Polytechnic with a diploma in facility management, along with a certificate in psychology. For the longest time, I wanted to work in the built environment industry. I believed that saving energy was not always about peoples' efforts, but how the building is built as well. I eventually decided to further my studies in the Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering (building services) program in SIT.
Aside from academic interests, I am interested in learning languages. I feel language is not only a way to communicate, but also a unique form of art. I have studied Japanese, and I am currently studying Korean. I also plan to pick up American Sign Language one day.
With regards to my communication skills, I would say that I am confident in my ability to speak to people. I have no qualms starting a conversation with a complete stranger. Working part-time for the past few years has helped me overcome this huge wall. I also worked at Changi Airport, where I conversed with international passengers on a daily basis. I enjoyed conversing with foreigners through their native language as I am able to practice what I have studied.
With regards to my communication skills, I would say that I am confident in my ability to speak to people. I have no qualms starting a conversation with a complete stranger. Working part-time for the past few years has helped me overcome this huge wall. I also worked at Changi Airport, where I conversed with international passengers on a daily basis. I enjoyed conversing with foreigners through their native language as I am able to practice what I have studied.
However, I would admit that I have troubles expressing myself in writing, especially in formal settings like academic writing. Growing up in a household where I use more Singlish than English, I am still not confident in my grammar and vocabulary. On top of that, I usually have difficulties organizing the information that I write.
My goals for this module is to develop my language skills, and to also refine my writing and public speaking skills. I hope to be able to learn more about effective communication from you, and to improve more on my English.
Best regards,
Jorine Ng
SIE2016 Group 6
Revised: 26th Sept 2018
SIE2016 Group 6
Revised: 26th Sept 2018
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ReplyDeleteDear Jorine,
ReplyDeleteIt is interesting to know that you had certificate in psychology and could speak different languages. Your letter is well written and detailed. You organized the paragraphs and there is a flow to it. Here are some of my thoughts for improvement.
1. Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering (Building Services) program in SIT. (do not need to capitalize)
2. I believed that saving energy was not always about peoples' efforts, but how the building is made as well. (how the building is build)
Let's work together to achieve our goals for this module!
Dear Jorine
ReplyDeleteI like the flow of your sentences from one paragraph to the next. All the points were also covered and written in detail with good explanation of your interests, strengths and weaknesses. I gave you a score of 8/10 for content.
In terms of organisation, your email is well-organised with different paragraphs and your sentences are well-structured. I gave you a score of 8/10 for organisation.
Lastly for the language used, the use of simple English has made reading easier and your sentences easily understood. I gave you a score of 8/10 for language used.
Overall, I gave you a score of 24/30. :)
Regards
Hafizah
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ReplyDeleteDear Jorine,
ReplyDeleteI have read your letter and it was nice to know your background, interest and goal. I would like to provide so suggestion and hope you would find it helpful.
Content-8/10.
Is sufficient and are detailed.
Organisation-8/10.
Good flow. Look out for punctuation and the continuous tenses.
Language-7/10.
Is easy to understand. I would suggestion to replace vocabulary words that are repeated on the same sentence or paragraph. Some grammatical errors.
Overall - 23/30. I hope you would read my letter and give me some feedback as well so we could help each other to improve in our writing. Thank you.
Yours sincerely,
Ethen Siew
Dear Jorine,
ReplyDeleteBy reading your letter, I got to know you better and here are a few of my thoughts which I hope you'd find useful.
Content: well elaborated and all points are covered.
Organisation: well paragraphed and good flow.
Language used: minor grammar errors here and there but good use of vocabulary.
All in all, it is a nice piece of writing.
Best regards,
Randi.
Dear Jorine,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this well crafted reflection letter. I appreciate not just the wealth of information provided but also your people-centric interests and talents (languages, interpersonal communication). I'm interested to know more about your work at Changi.
This is also a very fluent letter. Only the way that you have 'synthesized' my first name and last, and the issue below, detract:
1. Bradstone?
2. verb issues
-- I enjoyed conversing with foreigners through their native language as I was also able to practice what I have studied. >>> (use of present perfect) ?
I'm happy to be working with you this term.
Cheers,
Brad